gonna_shoot_it | 1st Quarter Alert [Action/Video]

[When Calhoun awakes, she finds herself facedown on a table in what must be Tapper's. The wood is slightly sticky under her cheek and smells of root beer, although when she moves a hand around stiffly, there's no mug anywhere to go with it. Which is strange.

What's also strange is that she's in Tapper's when she's supposed to be leaving Sugar Rush. That was the last thing that happened, right? Wreck-It had finally gotten his butt moving and they were going back to where they belonged before...

Stiffly, Calhoun sits up and looks around. And her eyes narrow. This isn't Tapper's. Wherever this is, it isn't the familiar watering hole filled with other arcade citizens. There isn't a single familiar face anywhere. And her gun is nowhere to be found.

For that matter, her armor isn't anywhere to be found. This is a plain white dress. What in the seven levels is this dress.

Calhoun is not amused. With a low growl, she gets to her feet - hits her head on the low-hanging light over the table - and takes another glaring look around the bar. Definitely not in Sugar Rush anymore. This isn't saccharine pink enough. There is, however, a thick journal with her name on it. She knows better than to leave a key item like that behind. After flipping through it quickly and deciding it's infinitely TL;DR, she takes the impatient route and just pokes at the transmission options a few times before she finds the video function.]

Anybody care to share what the flying fairydust is going on around here? Short version. I don't have the time to go through this whole cheat guide here.

[Aaand end transmission.

Alright. Now. First things first. She has to find her scanner, then her gun, then her armor. Then she can figure out what happened.

And somebody is going to get smacked for this.

Calhoun can be spotted slowly making her way through the main part of the village, looking almost like a lioness on the hunt at first as she tries to sniff out any kind of threat. Once she's made her stops into all the stores and found what she's looking for, she'll be a little more at ease, but no less irritated-looking. She's still got this place to scope out and figure out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Sure, Loki can do short versions.]

Aye! Pay attention as I will enlighten you in the most short way possible.

[He takes a deeeeeep breath.]

This is the land of Luceti and you are one of the many test subjects of these scientists called the Malnosso.

Just like everyone here, you see? Such a tragic fate...

[Loki shakes his head.]

Those wings are not meant for flying.

[Bingo, there's the short version she's looking for. The kid talks a bit funny, but hey, maybe that's just the theme of the game.]

Right. So what's the objective? [We're all test subjects aaaand... then what? How do you get to the boss? There has to be some kind of point to this game.

Also, he's just created another burning question.] And what are the wings for?

[Objective? Well, as far as Loki knows there is no specific objective. Maybe escaping from this realm would make a good final objective...? Loki nods shortly to himself.]

I guess that would be a great escape.

The wings are connected to your life force. Lose them and you will die a painful death.

[Calhoun mulls that over for a moment. A great escape as the objective, huh? That could probably be arranged, but she hates to run from a fight. But, well, we'll see the nature of the game soon enough.]

How do you lose them, then? How many hits?

[Life force indicators typically only have so many hits before they go bye-bye, after all. Usually three, but not always. These are useful things to know.]

[Hits? Loki taps his chin for a moment, looking at Calhoun with a strange look on his face.]

Please clarify your referral to hits.

[She meets that strange look and raises you another strange look, Loki.]

You know. Hits? How many hits you can take before it's game over?

Maiden, you truly possess a strange way of phrasing.

I take it you mean punches?

I'm talking strange? Do you hear yourself? Punches, hits, shots, kicks, Hadoukens, whatever floats your tugboat.

Aye, I am perfectly able to hear myself. Is there anything wrong with how I speak?

My tugboat?

[Whoah, lady, you're losing Loki there. Too many interesting phrases you need to explain to him.]

How do punches float a boat? Or is it a cool Midgardian term I should remember?

You're too formal.

[Seriously, who even talks like that anymore? And she thought Felix spoke funny.

Although that "Midgardian" part kind of sets off a little bell. Those Ehrgeiz people had something that sounded like that. Calhoun looks both a little exasperated and as if the metaphorical lightbulb has turned on.]

Oh. You're one of those RPG characters, aren't you, kid?

What is wrong with speaking formal? Or...

Ah!

Allow me to switch to cool, hip language of the street, yo. Yo.

[Yes, Loki's got this.]

RPG character, yo? Yo, that is totally wrong dude. I am Loki Laufeyson, behold my swagger...yo.

[She really isn't sure if she should laugh or facepalm. Because both are seeming like very valid options right about now.]

Don't hurt yourself, kid. [That many "yo"s cannot be healthy.] But good to meet you. I'm Calhoun.

I am not in pain, yo.

[Loki shakes his head while smiling broadly.]

Nice to meet you Calhoun. I am most sure I will obtain a lot of swagger if you will be my shorty, yo.

[what is this she doesn't even]

Your... shorty. [Beat.] You've got the wrong person for that.

[She is pretty sure she's the opposite of a candidate for being anyone's shorty.]

I always think shorty sounds more fitting than referring to a female canine, you see?

[He remembers that conversation he had with that man from the broadcasting station.]

But of course I know the word shorty refers to a more romantic situation. Ah, I should expand my knowledge about cool phrases.

[Good grief this kid needs some help. Calhoun weighs the options for a moment, sighs, and then decides to make things easier for everyone involved.]

Why don't you just stick with "Sarge", hm? Much less of a headache.

[Loki probably would disagree with needing help and the like... He's got this.]

Sarge? As in sergeant?

You got it, kid.

[Yes, he's got this.]

You should contact Major Sharpe, he is also in the army. He is fond of frills yet he refuses to acknowledge he does.

[There's a second or two before she answers.]

Frills as in fancy things or frills as in dresses?

[Loki thinks about this.]

Both.

Major Sharpe deserves to be honored with all the frills in the Nine Realms and beyond.

[A major with a thing for dresses and frills. Why not.]

I'll, uh. Keep that in mind.

Excellent. It is important to remember upon meeting him, yes.

[He leans closer to the screen and whispers.]

They do not appreciate him enough, you see? Therefore he needs to be rewarded.

[Flat tone is flat.]

Who doesn't appreciate him enough?

[Flat tone noticed and ignored.]

The army of Great Britain, of course.

[video]

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